top of page

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Hey Lovelies,

It's a new year and that means a new you! It's time you stop agreeing to with everyone else's opinions and feelings about what your identity looks like and start reclaiming your time and energy.

This has been an upward hill battle for me to set healthy boundaries with all the people I have relationships with in my life (friends, family, and colleagues included) as I emerged into adulthood.

For a long-time I went along with what others told me I should be and did tasks that weren't fulfilling for me. Over time I began to feel fatigued, stressed out, and resentful towards others.

But I now understand how important it is to set healthy boundaries because it is a necessary life skill that can preserve your mental health and well-being. In this article we will dive into what setting healthy boundaries means, examples of what it looks like, the different types of boundaries, and ways you can apply it in your life.

What Is a Healthy Boundary?

When you think of boundary setting rather than picturing a wired fence or "stay out" sign instead try to imagine a lifeguard flag or crosswalks. Boundaries are put in place to keep us safe and protected so we don't get hurt.

Learning to set our own healthy boundaries allows us to set limits on what we will tolerate and will not tolerate. Setting healthy boundaries is a means of exercising personal freedom. It means we are getting to know our identity and increasing self-awareness of where we stand and what we stand for.

Setting healthy boundaries give us an indication of how we know where one person ends and where we begin. Setting healthy boundaries means cutting off toxic people in our lives and understanding when you feel depleted after a conversation that a boundary has been violated.

But before you can begin to set and maintain healthy boundaries you must have a clear understanding of self. You also need to know how to define respect for yourself and what respect looks like for you and others.

The way I would define respect is when others take my feelings, wishes, rights, and traditions into consideration and I can do the same for them. For example, when I get off of work and my boss text me, I respectfully decline to respond until the next business day.

You should be mindful of other peoples boundaries as well. If you don't know what boundaries other people in your life have then simply ask them. Communication is key!

Respect for others can look like going out with a group of friends for example and choosing a restaurant that has vegan and vegetarian options other than just salad even if I myself am not so everyone can enjoy the social activity.